Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Joey's travel adventure, part I

The French have a great phrase they use when somthing is tiring, a bother, or just generally icky and they don't want to deal with it: "je n'ai pas le courage." That is how I feel about re-living my travels from last week and weekend.

Overall, I am really happy that I went on my mini vacation. All by my self (which was glorious), I went to a small harbor town in Maryland to visit a rather pregnant best friend of mine. I've known her nearly forever. She's on her own, recently returned from overseas duty (military girl) and in an old family house. The house is wonderful, on the water etc, but rather dated and in want of a serious scrub.

So I start my adventure on Thursday morning at o'dark butt-early. Imagine my chagrin upon arrival at the airport to see a major line in security and everything backed up. I asked around about what was going on and people looked at me like i was pathetically uninformed. Well, sorry but when I have to wake up in the a.m. and the little hand is still pointing at "4", I don't usually take time to sip a cup of tea in front of the telly. In any case, it soon became clear that whatever the reason, I had to chug my water and put my lotions in my checked bag. Fine. No biggie. I'd rather not blow up.

Fast forward 35 minutes, where I am starting to sweat it, hoping that I will make my plane. Security announces over the PA that no chapstick or lipstick will be permitted either. Um, OK. The security dudes apparently can't believe that women would not automatically think of lipsticks and chapsticks when told no LIQUIDS or GELS. So here's the problem. I've got 30 minutes of line ahead of me and at least that long behind me. My flight is in 45 minutes. Clearly getting out of line to take my makeup sachet back to my checked bag (which would no longer have been there anyway) is not an option. I sighed and said a sad farewell to my sachet of clinique lipsticks... that would be $15+ a stick times many sticks (I love lipstick). So as I get to an end in the switchback line, I ask a lady not in the line to put the sachet into the garbage. Whereupon, this wonderful angelic saintly woman asks why i am throwing something so pretty away. i explain the no lipstick thing and she asks ifI buy good lipstick. I said yes and she said "me too, and I would cry if I had to throw them all away." In short order she has my address and promises to send it to me. Hooray! I finally get through secutiry and get to the plane and get on. We leave with about half the seats empty. They are not waiting. Fine.

Then the flight attendant accidentally dumps orange juice all over me. I love it. You can't bring liquids, but you can wear them. Change planes, lather rinse repeat. I will say that the flight crew were very pleasant the second leg. I took United for the first time in a long time and thought, I might take them again. (not anymore)

Anyway, I arrived on time, shockingly. I was rather spent and it looked like security was a bugger everywhere.

Point of part I. I don't mind if I can't take regular stuff with me, but let's not be chumps about informing flyers what you can and can't take when you are checking bags. A little more effort on the check person's part would have alleviated many a person's stress level. And I am totally greatful that my daughter was not with me. She could not have handled the chaos and very random method the security dudes were using for determining which families could take liquids. Sigh. I hate traveling anymore.

Look for part II soon. And why I won't fly United again (unless they are at least $100 cheaper than everyone else, yes, I can be bought).

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