A plug for a calming bar taker site and the next phase

This post on game day thoughts had me breathing a little slower and easier this morning. Thank you Biff for your comment... and allowing me to find your blog. I appreciated your perspective.

Today begins "the rest" of all that I can do. I've often thought that if I do all that I can do, I will pass the bar. I'm not sure if I'm doing "all" I can do, but dammit, I'm trying pretty hard.

So here is the plan for phase "the last." Memorize. Practice. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. I've been goign through by subject to figure out what bits 'o law I won't be able to just regurgitate unless I do some hard core memorization of the 4 (or 5?, see why i need to do this) elements of an express trust. So I'm making a list of those and then handwriting them onto stuff that is going to decorate my house. Then I'm going to make a list of "order of review" to make sure that when I'm driving or working out or having another bout of insomnia, I can run through everything.

And when my brain feels squishy and sore, I'll stop input and take a few practice tests. Everyday. Some fully written, some just for the delightful experience. And then, well then, it'll be game time


(Is anyone else having issue with blogger this morning? It's playing mind games with me on links!!??)

Torn

I had a true moment of hyper-ventilation type of anxiety this morning as my daughter so cheerfully pointed out to me that i have 2 weeks before I can play with her at the zoo.

Two weeks. I'm really torn now that I'm facing that. On the one hand, I'm tired, I'm cranky, I miss my family, and I'm sick to death of doing this all day, everyday. On the other, two weeks so does not seems like enough time to get everything into my head that I need to. There is too much. I'm acknowledging as I write outlines now that I'm not putting in as much detail about some of the smaller issues as I was a week ago. It's a nod to the shortness of time and the finiteness of my memory. And it's scary. Because I have to accept that if that issue comes up on the test (I'm really thinking essays here), I will forego those points. And I'm not sure how many points I'm going to be able to forego and still get the job done.

Where does the focus go?

I just read Anastasia's commentary on her oh-so-unproductive day. And laughed. Because, yeah, that was my day too, until about an hour ago. Then I hit a spurt of energy. And then it stopped and I checked my blogroll.


Sunday was an exceptionally good study day. Lots of learning. Lots of accomplishment. Yesterday was less so. Harder to focus, less accomplishment, less motivation. Today has been basically a joke. No focus, almost no accomplishment, and totally devoid of motivation. The one bright spot in my day was watching a particularly anal classmate of mine suck usually reasonable people into his "essay guess fest." My favorite thing about this particular anal idiot is that he's so certain that he's right. About everything. Sigh. But especially about the bar stuff. He's actually foregoing studying certain subjects that he is, and I quote, "sure will NOT be on the bar, because there's just no possible mathematical way."

What i really love about that statement is that 1) i'm going to score better than him on those essays if they do show up, 2) if enough of them show up, he won't pass, and 3) how can you say that, especially this year considering that the MEE is, for the first time, offering the MBE subjects. My state has historically rarely tested MBE subjects on the essays. But if you talk to folks who took the february bar, THREE of the MBE subjects were essays. So, I get that I'm mocking him for trying to predict the essays by essentially predicting that we will have more MBE subjects than in the past, but I'm also no dumb bunny, and I'm going to know at least enough about all of the areas to answer and get some points.

End rant. End detour from studying. And now, back to the oh-so-fascinating realm of admin law (some one get me a razor!).

Not much to say other than that I am tired

This really is a sick sort of marathon. The insomnia is now ever present, and I felt somewhat in good company when several classmates ended up in an impromptu discussion about their favorite sleep-inducer: wine, benadryl, some omni-somthing, nighttime tylenol, etc. I don't know why it's comforting, but it is. I've only dosed the benadryl a couple of times so far . . . in total desparation to make the mneumonic devises and random elements stop running through my brain.

I'm to the point now too where I realize how much I am missing out on. And my daughter is NOT thrilled. I've played up a lot of the "in august, we will do: x, y, z special mommy/daughter stuff." But that only puts a bandaid on for so much.

I took last night off to be with the fam and with some close friends of ours. Even in myhaze, I still kicked can playing Settlers of Catan. I love that game... especially when I win.

I was above the "average" threshold on the simulated MBE, which made me take one step away from the cliff I feel like I am perpetually standing on these days. My evidence score was absolute puke though. God help me, but I am NEVER going to figure out exactly when extrinsic evidence can and cannot come in. Oddly, but happily, my best score was in torts, so it is good to know those few days I spent really hammering it and reading the huge honking outline really helped.

I've also got about half a dozen friends who are now aware of how sucky Barbri's state materials are. We are each taking the ones we think are more likely than not to show up and checking the statutes... it's a pain, but it's turning out to be very very worth it, and it sucks a little bit less since we have divided it up. I'm still astounded at how wrong they are on major points of law in every subject. Truly amazing.

Now, I'm ducking my head back into my studying: this evening's dish: wills. Mmm mmm good.

Just what exactly did I pay Barbri more than $2000 for?

Cause where I'm sitting at the moment, I couldn't answer that question. Seriously?!?! I became thoroughly irritated earlier this week when a friend of mine was reducing her familiy law outline and got a puzzled look on her face. Fortunately for us, she used to work for the state legislature and had something stick in her brain about a funky family law issue that Barbri had under our state's distinctions. Well, after about 3 minutes on westlaw, she found out that the funky "state law distinction" had been REPEALED! ALMOST FOUR YEARS AGO. HELLO!?! WTF? I died a little inside. It's a frequently tested issue. And now my state does it like everyone else instead of bizarro. And Barbri, well, either they are lazy and cheap and didn't want to spend the resources to update my state's law or they knew they didn't have to because where the hell else am I supposed to go? Sift through my state's code and common laws in all my spare time? Right.

So fast forward to today, when we began our simulated exam. My first complaint is, really, I have to grade them? And I get the infeasibility of grading so many essays in any kind of a timely manner. Fine. But then, if you don't, Barbri, you owe me a point break down of the answers, and failing that, you owe me model answers actually written in the blasted format that you keep harping on about being so damn important. It is lame and excessively insufficient to merely give me what amounts to a bulleted list of issue-spotting with an occasional rule thrown in. All I can see is that I did worse than I thought, but I'm not sure how necessarily to make it better. So thanks for nothing on that end. Oh, and by the way, it would be nice if you updated the answers that claim to be specific to my state like on my ethics essay. It was half-assed at best and completely WRONG on two of the three points. So thanks again. Glad I've been studying that and that the lecturer you sent for the ethics stuff had done his homework for 2008 and could tell me what the law is now.

And how is it even imaginable that it will take you 9 days to return my "graded" scantron? It's a scantron for crying out loud. Me taking it 3 weeks before the test so that you can give me my score 1.5 weeks before the test seems like a total waste of everyone's time. Of course, I can and will mark my answers in my book so that I can grade it the next day.

But what is it that I paid you so much money for?

I don't get it. I'm sure the lecturers don't come cheap, at least not the really big ones that give you cred. But you dupe them a million times, so the recurring cost there has got to be pretty minimal. And the many forests killed in the printing of the books, yeah, that's probably not cheap either. Room rentals. Graders (who are worthless... it's a joke when everyone in my class gets the same number grade each week with a note that says: "good writing, but check the law.") The "local" attorney who is supposed to . . . yeah, I've still got no idea what he was supposed to actually do for us.

When I sit back and look at what I thought the real value would be in your course, it was for the state law stuff. Which is usually horribly inadequate, disjointed, and evidently wrong because at least some of it hasn't been updated in a while. The rest of the stuff you provide, meh. I could buy your books off ebay or a classmate. I could poke myself with a stick to make sure that I didn't fall asleep reading the big outlines which would more than compensate for not hearing most of the lectures. It's the state law stuff that I don't have time to google and westlaw for the myriad subjects that my state tests.

It's a good thing that courts generally don't second guess the value of consideration because I'd be on that like peanut butter on a kid.

Because I don't want to study torts

Stealing another meme. This time movies. Thanks to Z over at Balance of Power and E. McPan at the Neutral Zone Trap. Let's see how many new classics (according to Entertainment Weekly) yayarolly is up on.

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

I'm surprised. I'm such a classics Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn kind of girl. Half is pretty respectible. And of the ones that I haven't seen, I'd say I actually only want to see a handful. And now, back to negligence. Damn.

Sloppiness and Being Discovered and Illusory Anonymity

So, sloppiness: A few years ago, I had a struggle with a post that I wrote, which I ultimately decided not to post. I remember being really disappointed that I had finally reached that moment where self-censoring caused me to not post about something, full stop. I had that same sort of struggle last week. I wrote something up that I thought was funny, accurate, a bit sardonic and would be appreciated by many in years to come. But I was uncomfortable with a couple of the negative things I wanted to say. And frankly, I blame my squeamishness on having studied bloody torts for the few days before I posted. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. In any case, despite my gut telling me not to do it, I posted it. Then I worried over it. As I was sitting at school the following day, I checked on it and discovered some random, fairly rude comments (not at me, agreeing with me actually) but they were said in a flippant sort of way that made me more uncomfortable than I already was, and I was miffed at where they came from. Then I discovered that the post had been picked up elsewhere. And I was really uncomfortable.

So i decided, after discussing it hypothetically with a friend at school, that I would pull it. I just didn't have the extra mental energy to worry about it. In hindsight, it was probably ok, but still, i don't need any extra crap turning in my head these days. So I'm glad that I pulled it.

Fast forward a few days though where I sit down with my best law school friend who wanted to smack me upside the head because the other friend I had my "blog hypo" with told the other that I had a blog. She hadn't previously known about it. That's right folks. I was outted. By my own sloppiness. I mean, I know that you can never do the "I have a friend" kind of hypo and get away with it. But I'm still entertained that after keeping this blog for 3 years, I never once told anyone anything about it. And as far as I know, none of my law school compadres read it or connected it with me. Which is how I had wanted it. So now, the cat is out of the bag, and those two are sworn to secrecy.

I know that blogs are not anonymous, no matter how much you try to make them so. it's relatively easy to figure out at least the exact location of a blogger. But you still hide behind the anonymity wall you construct. I've often thought of the irony of how much freedom anonymity gives you to tell it like it is... while nearly crippling you into being "content free" in order to maintain that anonymity. It's what made me decide for once and for all that yayarolly's doors will close August 1. I'll leave the blog up in case there is anything remotely useful to someone else later on. And I'll probably get it printed into a keepsake book for myself at blurb. But with law school on the shelf, it will be time to move on.

I'm still undecided as to whether I will start a new blog that looks at me as a whole picture: professional, mommy, wife, hobbies etc. But I'm struggling with the whole anonymity thing still. I certainly don't want to get fired, or worse. But I also don't want to write so that I end up being content free. It's tricky. But I love to write. The year that I didn't write on this blog, I was actually writing fiction. So see, I can't just stop writing. :)

First major freakout

It happened Wednesday night... after I had spent what felt like the better half of my life studying torts, and I was still scoring between 30 and 33%. Um, yeah. No bueno. i had been about 3 giggles away from crying for a few days. The tension and the exhaustion and the anxiety were all weighing on me heavily. And so on my way home from studying and taking the test, the tears started rolling, and I was in near hysterics by the time I got home. I just knew that I was going to fail the bar. Beause with as many torts questions, I couldn't possibly get enough "extra" answers right in other areas to make up for it. Or that was my line of thought anyway.

Happily my family had time for a group snuggle and then took me out to a late dinner and a chocolate milkshake. nothing is ever as bad when thought of over a chocolate milkshake. So I picked myself up, and dusted myself off, and started all over again (Name that Rogers/Astaire movie). I had actually also spent a lot of time reducing property (and am now the proud owner of a 1 page property outline :)) so before despairing altogether, i decided to take another property test. I was concerned that my entire method of studying wasn't working and if it wasn't, I was out of ideas of what to do differently. And I'm glad that I took that rational, double-check approach because my property score went up a lot. Then i took a mixed subject test and laughed out loud at the results:

• All K and property questions right
• 1 evidence question wrong
• 3 crim and 3 con law questions wrong each
• and all torts questions wrong but 1

Clearly, I just don't get torts. So I am sticking with my original plan, although I admit that I am about 2 days behind now. (Freak outs are such a time suckage.)

That's about all that I have to report. Studying for the bar blows.

I have a plan

Since tomorrow is the last day of lectures, and our practice test is in a little less than 2 weeks, I made myself a plan. I'm not sure just how realistic it is, but it will give me a shot at going through everything once more before the practice test. Then hopefully that will give me enough direction to know what to really beat into my brain for the few weeks between the practice test and the real deal. Ever get the feeling that the bar is really just testing you on your time management and organizational skills... well, duh, that's what the MPT is, but the rest of it is really the same too. Because if you didn't have lovely time and org skills, you'd never be able to get enough of the law in all the million areas in your head before the bar.

Edited to add the plan, duh!

So I whipped out a calendar and scheduled a couple of things per day. Generally, for the next 5 days, I am taking one MBE subject a day and making flashcards based on the black letter law in the explanations to the answers of the MPQ1 tests that I have already taken. I'm trying to NOT get carried away because 1700 flashcards are a bit on the useless side. Instead, I am going through and doing cards for stuff that's kind of tricky (like exceptions to exceptions in topics I'm not as good at) and things that always come up as an answer but I don't know what it means. For example, in real property, negative reciprocal covenants came up as an answer (almost always wrong) on several MBE questions. So I made sure to get down what the heck it is and what the elements are for enforcing it. And now, I know it. :)

During those same five days, I will also be reading through my class notes on non-MBE topics that are always tested on my bar. It's just a read through for refresher, not for locking it into the memory vault.

After I'm done with the flashcards, I'm doing 1 MBE a day (some I've scheduled for 1.5) to make my first pass at reducing the classnotes and outlines into something more manageable and memorizable. I will also still be reading a set of non-MBE topic classnotes each of those days. And that pretty much takes me right up to the simulated test. Oh, and I will do an hour worth of MBEs

After that, my plan is less firm. Obvioiusly, I will need to reduce the non-MBE topics, and I will hopefully be able to see which MBE topics I need to focus on. But I hope to spend the bulk of the last two weeks before the actual bar taking a million practice tests. So there. This is all just the plan. I'll let you know if it's too much (or too little, but I highly doubt that).

Surfing the Benadryl Wave

Suck. I got a nasty cut from a can this weekend and got a tetanus shot yesterday. And a nasty allergic reaction to it. Sigh. So I took the benadryl they told me to take. And promptly napped for 4 hours. I've always been a light weight with any kind of "drowsy" drug. So, let me revamp my study plan for the day as I try to drag my sorry butt out of bed.

So glad I never took admin law in school

Seriously, I might have had to drink heavily before and during the class. I could not have been more bored at the Barbri lecture for it. Don't get me wrong. The lecturer actually was pretty good, but the subject seriously. Just too boring for words.

Eep! It's real! I'm taking the bar in less than 6 weeks!

It's odd, isn't it, the very strange things that make upcoming events finally seem real to you. I received an email from my state's bar several weeks ago letting me know that 1) I passed character and fitness, 2) I'd been issued an applicant ID and password, and 3) I was required to download, register, and take a mock test off software I would be using on the exam. I ignored that email when I got it. I wasn't ready for the sinking feeling that I knew it would give me.

Well, today, I could no longer ignore it as the deadline for completing those tasks loomed before me. So, I did it. And all the while felt my blood begin draining from my body and nausea set in. It's real. I'm taking the lousy bar. And it's coming up FAST.

On a helpful note though, thinking about the software deadline made me remember a deadline with my firm who wants several thing from me by the end of this month.

So the tip of the day: don't let studying for the bar get in the way of remembering what's important: being able to take the bar by completing the state's instructions in a timely manner and being able to start working after you take it by finishing the firm's instructions in a timely manner. :)

Catching the flashcard wave

Well after seeing Ks enthusiasm for flashcards and reading a great post on their usefulness (thanks for the link K), I decided to jump on the flashcard bandwagon.

So far, i feel like I am getting something out of it. But I think that I may be taking a back door, so I thought I would share my method. I'm going through my state and the MEE essay booklets and the MPQ book making flashcards out of answers to problems and essays that I have already taken and struggled with (although I am making a few for areas with lots of exceptions, just to be sure that I have them solid). It just struck me as a more useful place to start than just trying to go through the conviser or my class notes. I am also adding my state's law anywhere applicable (e.g., my state has a preponderance standard NOT clear and convincing for how to rebut the assumption that a husband is the biological father of a child where the mommy is married).

I like it so far because I feel like I am really concentrating on the nitty grittiness of the elements and I also have the impression (illusion?) that I am grappling with the material more because I am carefully evaluating whether I really understood something in an answer or got lucky. It also appeals to my lack of concentration in any one area sort of mentality these days because, for example, I'll get to a secured transactions essay and have to parse through 2/3 of the question dealing with contracts stuff and 1/3 dealing with secured transactions.

And most importantly for me, I feel no obligation to go through them again and again later. My learning style has always been: read it, hear it, write it. Which is very annoying because it takes a lot of time, but I am successful that way. And I shouldn't try to fix what isn't broken.

So hooray for feeling like I'm actually getting something out of today's study session.

I thank you, no. I'd rather drive.

I never thought that I would live to see the day that I would willingly, almost happily, decline to participate in any air travel. Naturally, for work, I will have no choice, but for personal travel, I don't have to do it. And unless it's an exceptional case, I'm not going to. This article illustrates why.

You know, I've put up with no longer being able to bring water with me to the airport that costs me a small per unit cost because I buy at costco and instead having to spend $2 at the airport to know that I can have a drink when I get thirsty on an airplane. Because heaven only knows when the flight attendants will get around to it. And I've put up with longer security lines, ridiculous rules about baggies, and having air shot up my skirt as part of the anti-terrorist campaign. Fine. A pain in the butt, you betcha, but fine. But I'm drawing the line now. I will NOT pay $2 on the plane for water or soda or $5 for some food on a cross country flight that isn't at a mealtime. I just won't.

I had big plans to go visit my dearest friend on the other side of the country right after the bar. We were going to boat, lay around, and generally let our small children make our plans for us for about two weeks. But I can't now. Not when it will cost nearly $1000 to fly myself and my daughter there... and of course, that doesn't include any baggage or comforts on the flight. I miss my dear friend, but I simply can't afford that price tag right now, nor do I have any desire to deal with the drama that flying has become.

In my early childhood, I lived overseas and travelled more miles than I can conceive of flying for the rest of my life. It was before southwest, even partly before the rules about no smoking on flights. It was when there were free headsets and you had hot meals and lots of snacks and drinks. It was when flight attendants were there, and knew that as their job description, to make the passengers as comfortable as possible. As I grew up and we moved back to the states, I travelled less and less and began noting the differences each flight that I took. All of a sudden, the seats were smaller, the leg room disappeared, the flight attendants looked bothered if you asked them for anything at all and sharply told you they were not there for your comfort but only for your safety. But air travel was less expensive because I could choose to be entertained and cattle-carred to my location on Southwest. And I didn't mind so much forgoing the hot meals and other nice amenities because of the price break. But then the price started creeping up and I noticed that everyone cost abou tthe same and every airline treated you the same (like shit) and flew even less. (I do like Jet Blue but even they are getting really expensive and they simply don't have enough routes to places I need to go yet.) And then there was 9/11. And the whole experience just became one uncomfortable pain in the ass.

We still flew, at least once a year, and then there was this spring. Our flights over the ocean and back again for our amazing vacation were a new low. Delta outdid themselves on horrid service and little to no amenities. I think the lowest point was where they put out a variety of 2 liter beverages, inclyding water and said "serve yourself" and so I did... and when I came back for my third trip in 5 minutes, I got a sternly worded "you're only entitled to your share." I haven't wanted to punch a woman like I did in that moment for years. And she didn't apologize when I explained how I was getting drinks for my whole family and that my daughter, who had SLEPT through the first beverage service was dehydrated and needed TWO WHOLE DIXIE CUPS of water.

So when I read about the baggage fees, I decided that I would pay more for a ticket on an airline that didn't do that. And then the thing with the drinks came out, and I just decided that it was enough. One of the airlines PR people said "oh, people won't stop flying; they'll just pack lighter." Really? Have you talked to your customers lately. I have several good friends plannig driving vacations instead this year. Even with the price of gas because the airline hassle is simply not worth it. And people are used to driving even long distances. In college I drove 6 hours home about once a month. In high school, I drove 4 hours to the beach about once a month. And on random vacations, I've generally held the rule that I can go anywhere happily that I can reach in about 12 hours.

So yeah, after the bar, I will be taking a vacation, by car somewhere I hadn't been planning on going. And I'll cringe at the pump and think "at least the airlines didn't get my money."

Open Letter to Barbri

Dear Barbri,

I am dissatisfied. I am dissatisfied with most of your product. I shelled out the couple of thousand for your bar review course for a couple of specific things: 1) the materials (books, cd/dvd, lectures), 2) the services ("grading" of practice essays and a simulated practice exam), and 3) your schedule. Allow me to illustrate why I am dissatisfied.

First, for being a gigantically, fear-instilling box of materials, they are, well, a little light on some of the most important parts. Out of the thousands and thousands of pages that you sent, maybe 200, if I'm feeling really generous maybe 300 pages are actually specific to my state. They are shoved at the beginning of my conviser, usually with no rhyme or reason as to where it goes in the big or conviser version of the main outlines. You rarely show us "hey, dummy, this is what is different!" This is what I needed from you. I learned the federal and majority rules and odd minority rules in law school; what I was expecting from you was help with my specific state's laws since you know, I am after all taking MY STATE'S bar! However, at this point, I do realize that however paltry your assistance is for my own state law, it is surely much better than I could have gathered on my own over the course of the summer.

The essays are maddening. The conflicting instructions from my essay lecturer to many of the comments given by the content lecturers are irritating. Should I or should I not argue both sides?

The lecturers. Hmm. Many of them are excellent. Some of them are less so. And a few are down right obnoxious. (Of course, maybe I wouldn't find them as obnoxious if the guy you hired to push the DVD in the player and click play wasn't hard of hearing and we didn't have to listen to the damn lectures at top decibel until our ears ring.) Almost all of the workbook fill-in-the-blank materials are great. In fact, I think the 4 lectures I had without that were the worst and bespeaks laziness on the part of whoever was responsible for creating them (which I have gathered is the lecturer).

Second, the services are half-assed. As I look at it, other than the "materials," you have said that you will grade my essays and practice test, provide proctors for the lectures, and a local attorney available to answer our local questions. It is not extraordinarily helpful for me to get the same grade again and again (which all my friends get as well, coincidence? I think not) that basically tell me, great writing, great organization, but the law is wrong. No kidding. The law is wrong? The law that YOU told me not to memorize yet??? Shocking result. And could we get a couple of proctors who, I don't know, do anything other than press play and volume up? I went to the night lecture a couple of times when I had conflicts, and I could kiss that proctor. He puts on the board at the get go: "This lecture is x minutes long." I like that because even if it's awful, I know BEFORE to call kiddie backup or can just mentally prepare myself for a nastily long haul. He also puts up a reminder of when the next essay is due or if something has come back. He's useful. He's not just taking up space, and his hearing, happily is better than his day time compadres. Now, I could harp on the local attorney thing, especially his particularly awful lecture on essays (all stuff you should have learned in high school), but I'll just highlight the main problem: coming in once a week (or more like every 9 or 10 days) for 15 minutes right before the morning lecture = less useful.

Third, the lectures run too long without warnings (and sometimes appropriate breaks) and the self-paced schedule is ridiculous in light of the goals YOU told us when we started.

When the lectures last more than the 3.5 hours listed on the schedule. We need to know about it--in advance. Why do I separate this out? Because it is not the lecturers' fault that you marked ONE SINGLE day on my calendar notifying me that we were going to go an extra half an hour. People have outside commitments: whether child care, work, or countless other obligations. If I'm told that the lectures will end everyday by 12:30, except for the one time noted on my calendar that will go until 1:00, then I PLAN MY LIFE accordingly. It has been exasperating to have lecture after lecture go anywhere between 15-45 minutes over the scheduled time. And in an effort to make up time, some of the longest lectures (I'm looking at YOU evidence) make the breaks only after much longer intervals than normal. This is hard stuff. A normal person only has so much room in his head and attention span to fill that space. It's no good to have the wiggles for 20 minutes at a time as the lecturer goes over and a student thinking: hope my babysitter can stay a little longer, or hope the partner will understand that I'm late, or dammit I have to pee! Now, I understand that because you retape new lectures every year (which I am grateful for) makes it impossible for you to know when you make up the initial schedules how long the time is going to run. But would it kill you to have a place on the web site that we could check for updates? Then those of us with other commitments could continue to plan our lives around you, but with far more accuracy.

And last, but certainly not least, and currently most dear to my heart, your self-paced program is unrealistic and fairly demoralizing. You should build a one day break in every week. People would perform better if they had a chance to rest. Or even use it as a chance to catch up. My biggest problem with the self-paced program is that it starts to feel like a bunch of meaningless exercises. You told us not to worry about memorizing right now. To be a robot and just follow the schedule, that July is the time for memorizing. And I get that to a certain extent. But writing essay after essay that tests me on the exception to an exception to the rule? It's just demoralizing. And panic-inducing. Maybe that's what you want: if everyone panics then they will try harder to be superman and keep your schedule. But, I'm telling you, it's a waste of time. Instead of coming to the exact opposite conclusion and spending a full 30 minutes articulating carefully the rules and the reasons why... only to discover it's some obscure rule that I read in the big outline and wasn't mentioned in the lecture and therefore not reviewable when I reviewed my lecture notes. I understand that those kinds of questions are fair game on the bar. But perhaps, for every one's sanity (not to mention making the grading a wee-bit more worth the time), how about assigning us the constitutional law question that talks about ANYTHING we covered in the lecture instead of some weird criminal law point on ineffective assistance of counsel and appeals. After all, I thought the point of the essays now was to get us used to the funky faux IRAC for the bar . . . and NOT to memorize and therefore be able to regurgitate the right answer to weird questions.

Sincerely,

Yayarolly, one dissatisfied customer

Being a law mom has always yielded unexpected benefits

And today is no exception. This week is my daughter's limbo week: school ended last week and camp doesn't start until next week. The first part of this week she went with the in-laws and her cousin to Yellowstone. And has come back acting more fiercely independent than normal. Sigh. In any case, I'm going to the Barbri night class tonight and tomorrow night since she is back now.

Plans for today: walk/ride to park and play for a few hours; catch a bus to the library/eatery/movie theater area for library browsing, lunch, and Horton Hears a Who (I'm too cheap to watch it in the expensive theater... my daughter thinks that movies only cost a dollar.). Then bus back and craft time to make something for daddy's day. And then make dinner together and play 1950s housewife and daughter with dinner ready when hubby comes home. Of course, reality will come crashing back rudely as I dash out the door with a tupperware of the hot supper and bolt to barbri class. :)

I think key to that laundry list 'o fun up there is the noticeable lack of study time. Which i had a little anxiety about until about 30 minutes ago when I talked with my daughter about today. And really, her excitement is too infectious to not get caught up in.

So today, being a law mom is helping me (forcing me) to take a much needed break and enjoy the day.

Procrastination Station

Arg! Must find a way to stop frittering time away! Seriously, I have been home for 2 hours since my Barbri class ended and have yet to crack a book. Mostly now I want a nap.

This whole lack of being able to concentrate thing does not bode well for when I actually start working for my firm. I can't remember the last time that I truly had to concentrate for 8-10 hours straight with little to no break. Sigh. I'm such a light weight now.

Ok. Ok. I'm cosing the computer and reading my damned evidence outline.

I can't be this tired of studying for the bar already

I thought it was really brain fatigue, but now I think it was just being sick of it generally. i thought perhaps coming up with a way to give myself every sunday or something like that off would help, but bloody Barbri's damn paced program packs a million things into the weekends. I honestly beleive that it would stick in my brain better if I took a break once a week. You see, I'm one of those types of folks who goes full tilt until I simply can't and then I stop. I don't slow down. I don't prioritize or re-prioritize. I just simply stop for a day or two or a week when it's been really bad and do nothing. Then I wake up finally feeling better and pick up the pieces and start again.

So I've revised my barbri commitment and I will do every last blasted thing on their blasted program, but it will take me a bit longer. I'm feeling good about that. My scores on all of the stupid multiple choices are several points ahead of average (except torts, which clearly I just do NOT get) and evidently I know how to write an essay. So I'm trying to relax.

A note on the essays: We had our second essay lecture this last week. 2 hours of "when you write the rule, list the elements and then make sure that you put your analysis sections in the same order as you wrote the elements." Seriously, um high school english there folks; if not then at the latest freshman english 101. And much, much more of the same. It was the biggest waste of time.

And on a rare comment into my mommyhood. I have more time this week to do the barbri thang (maybe even treat myself to a matinee) because my daughter is on her first vacation without me. She went with the in-laws by car to a vacation spot 2 whole states away. I know she's getting bigger and it's not like I haven't spent nights away... but there's something very different about watching her get into their car, buckle herself into her car seat, wave goodbye and drive off with the biggest grin on her face. I can't believe she was not quite 2 and a half years old when I started law school. Now she reads. She helps me cook. She has her own wonderful sense of humor. And I'm going to miss her desperately this week.

Saturday afternoon, I'm avoiding contracts, meme

I've never done one of these, but it looked kind of fun. So thanks for the idea: Chicken Magazine, E. McPan and Kristine over at Divine Angst. Evidently it comes from LibraryThing.

Interruption for geeky yet endearing story about moi: I learned about Library Thing a little while ago and thought: Cool! And then thought: Pooh! Because I very very very rarely actaully buy books anymore. My husband, ever the economist, convinced me that investing in shelf space for books that I'll likely never read again or spending money on books that I am not sure I will like is kind of pointless. Mostly, I agree, but I miss the comforting and decadent feeling of walking away from a book store with a happy sackful of books waiting to be devoured. I did think it was cool though because I was reminded recently of how when I was in the 2nd grade, I made little envelopes and glued them to the inside of all my books, wherein I put an index card and had a master file so that way I could keep track of my books in case anyone borrowed them. Wasn't I a cute little 2nd grader?

Back to the meme: so the schtick is that these are the top 106 books tagged “unread” at LibraryThing. Bold=read; underline=read for school; ital=started but abandonned; and bold-underlined=you read it for school first and subsequently re-read because you wanted to. My results (to the extent that I actually remember some titles) were pretty pathetic considering that way back in undergrad, I was an English major.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Crime and Punishment
Wuthering Heights
Catch-22
The Silmarillion
Don Quixote
The Odyssey
The Brothers Karamazov
Ulysses
War and Peace
Madame Bovary
A Tale of Two Cities I've never been a big Dickens fan
Jane Eyre or a Bronte fan
The Name of the Rose
Moby Dick
Emma
The Iliad
Vanity Fair
Love in the Time of Cholera
The Blind Assassin
Pride and Prejudice
The Historian: A Novel
The Canterbury Tales
The Kite Runner
Great Expectations
Life of Pi
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies
Atlas Shrugged
Foucault’s Pendulum
Dracula
The Grapes of Wrath
Frankenstein
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Mrs. Dalloway
Sense and Sensibility
Middlemarch
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Sound and The Fury
Memoirs of a Geisha
Brave New World
Quicksilver
American Gods
Middlesex
The Poisonwood Bible
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Dune
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
The Satanic Verses
Mansfield Park
Gulliver’s Travels
The Three Musketeers
The Inferno
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Fountainhead
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
To the Lighthouse
A Clockwork Orange
Robinson Crusoe
Persuasion
The Scarlet Letter
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
The Once and Future King
Anansi Boys
Atonement
The God of Small Things
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Cryptonomicon
Dubliners
Oryx and Crake
Angela’s Ashes
Beloved
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
The Hunchback of Notre Dame do I get bonus points for reading it in french?
In Cold Blood
Lady Chatterley’s Lover
A Confederacy of Dunces
Les Misérables Again, in french
The Amber Spyglass
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Watership Down
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation
The Aeneid
A Farewell to Arms
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
Sons and Lovers
Possession
The Book Thief
The History of Tom Jones
The Road
Tender is the Night
The War of the Worlds

67% on Property!!!!!!!! YES!!

Seriously, there is something wrong when I am excited that I got a 67% on the Barbri Property MBE practice exam. I'm not sure that I've ever been so proud of a crappy score in my life (okay... maybe the games on the LSAT--I can't remember that far back). The DVD Barbri guy says 55% is the national average (or was it 50%?). In any case, I am well above that . . . and consistently so far on each of the 5 property tests that I have taken.

One of my dear friends hates property (kind of like I am hating crim pro at the moment). And she's freaked out that she's getting 45%-50% right. I've tried to tell her to calm herself, but it's not working. Then I made the mistake of answering her truthfully about my average scores. Yeah, it wasn't pretty. But here's the thing--I took Property (duh, we all had to), but I also took Real Estate Finance, which is essentially Property II, and a real estate drafting class, and I T.A.'ed for Property. Mind you--the TA thing would lead one to expect I really know more about property than I do. Nope. Thank you prof Property (whom I had and for whom I TA'ed) for teaching almost exclusively takings and very obsure future interest stuff. I knew next to nothing about easements, nothing about covenants, servitudes, landlord/tenant stuff, and rule against perpetuities before Barbri last week. The dude on the DVD's formula on rule against perpetuities has changed my life. So easy. It's like doing hard math successfully and you only need to get it right for the short-term, not necessarily understand it: don't think, just plug in the formula and voila. In any case, I'm happy with where I am there....

Especially in light of the painful criminal procedure stuff I am now in the midst of. It was one of the few four-credit hour classes I didn't take in law school, and oy! there is a lot to learn. This is my first general disappointment with barbri too--the guy who does the lecture is following the outline in the book pretty closely, which is problematic for me because I think his outline is completely disorganized. Sigh. I'm actually reading the heinous 8.5 x 14 version. Eep!

Prediction: in a few days when I need to start testing the crim stuff, look for a post here with me crying like my friend (who, ironically is a crim law/pro guru) and wondering how I will ever remember it all.

And finally, as I am telling myself daily, I will end with this thought: I don't have to know everything. I just have to know enough.