It happened this weekend. I turned in my project and finished law review stuff, and then I sat at my little desk for a few minutes and enjoyed the numbness, the doneness. I grabbed my favorite slippers that I had left in my office last year (always bloody cold) and my favorite lotion and left. I'll do the official cleaning out later, but I took what was important to me. And then I got into my car and headed toward my favorite "I've worked the whole ruddy weekend away take out place". And I had a huge smile on my face as I went up the stairs and towards my car.
And then something kind of odd happened on the drive... I started crying. I do NOT cry. And it came bubbling out of me. I frantically wiped at the tears as I drove and tried to figure out if I was having a break down. My conclusion was that they were tears of relief and disbelief. Disbelief because it felt like so many times along the way, i wouldn't make it. The extra emotional energy and time I had to find to deal with my nearly always sick child. The trauma of a marriage in flux. My own mid-life crisis. And then, well, law school is just damn hard.
And now it's done. Nothing left but to walk across the stage without tripping.
Last night, I watched a movie without feeling the guilt of knowing I was procrastinating on something for school. And I loved every minute of it.
The fat lady is singing. I'm done.
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5 comments:
Wow. Congrats!
Congratulations, lady! Enjoy every moment of the next few days before graduation. I watched my own mother walk across the stage to receive her undergrad in my early teens and think I was prouder than she was. Your family is/will be probably just as emotional as you are. Good luck!!!
Wow, congratulations. I'm about to begin inthe fall, but already looking forward to this feeling
Congratulations! I am excited for you. And jealous. You certainly deserve a little celebratory cry. Doing this whole thing as a mom is kind of like that old adage about Ginger Rogers doing everything that Fred Astaire did but backwards and in a dress. That's exactly what it feels like sometimes, isn't it?
Congrats! I have put on a little weight during law school and will be singing for you, and all my graduating friends, both online and in 3D. Good job!
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