Friday, September 15, 2006

Must concentrate, but I so can't.

I'm tired. I'm borderlined cranky. I'm stressed and in some cloud of "did I nail it? was i an idiot, I don't know." I'm painfully aware of the fact that my note is due in 2 weeks folks... and I've read a tiny little bit that I might be able to squeeze 5 pages out of... that leaves me, uh, rather short of the minimum page count. I can't concentrate. I haven't done my law review copywork yet; I haven't started on my assignments yet. In short, I'm not doing. I'm floating, smiling, researching, obsessing, but I am most assuredly not doing.

To put the icing on the cake: yesterday was the 4-year anniversary of my stepfather's tragic death. I feel very Scarlett O'Hara about it... I won't think about it today; I'll think about it tomorrow, after all tomorrow is another day. Unfortunately my mom needs me to think about it yesterday and today, and as long as she needs to get refills on her lovely medications. God I miss him. You'd think after 4 years that it wouldn't feel like a punch to the gut anymore. But I am transported to that week and then that day and then that horrible phone call that I hope Inever get again. I miss you Wayne. God bless.

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