The 1L person you don't want to be

I guess that I should say people because there is certainly more than one category that you don't want to fall into. Now that I have my oh so significant (whateveh) experience as a one L, I think I've got a handle on who you don't want to be (BTW--"queen" is used here asexually... I'm not just down on girls. We've got plenty of guys who fit into these categories too:

• personal gossip queen--don't be the one that no one wants to tell anything too because they know that you will say that Billy and Jane made out at jane's instead of going to Property. Just don't go there. A) it makes you look like you're 12 and B) no one cares except for you.
• grade gossip queen--don't be the one that makes it their mission to figure out who got what grades in each class and who the top 20 students in ranking order are. It's icky. People don't want to talk to you because they think you are always angling for some piece of info to fit into your sick puzzle. You also make people crazy, even the ones who aren't grade-centered. You have a disease and it's catching. Just shut up.
• Job gossip queen--don't be the one to tell me that billy bob has seconds with x,y, and z firms. Isn't that billy bob's prerogative to decide whether to broadcast? Even if you think you are talking to other job gossip queens, don't ask, don't tell. We all will get along a whole lot better. Oh, and don't whine about the one interview you didn't get when the people you are talking with would have killed for just one interview, any interview. And certainly don't be gauche and talk about the trauma you are having picking between offers. Puhleaze. One of these days, someone is going to shoot you, and everyone will clap.
• Teacher/course gossip queen--it's good to share knowledge like oh, he likes to test from the footnotes or he always tests commerce clause. But it is NOT NOT NOT good to take random comments like that and make inferences about them and then pass those on as gospel. Seriously, we've got people running around thinking they can't get As unless, fill in the blank. And it's pretty ridiculous stuff. But it goes the rounds as credible because we are all paranoid. It's also not particularly fair to the teacher.
• Dating queen--male or female, don't systematically date your class. Just ew. People will know you are a skank. Period. Preferably, just don't date people in your class.
  
• Study Martyr--I could give a rat's arse how many hours you study, how late, how many supplements you read. If you have something useful to share, share it. if you are trying to get sympathy or intimidation points, shut up.
• "I don't like so and so" person--this is the one that is hard, and I've been in this category, I think we all have, but it's just ugly, especially if you go to a small school. I don't care how big of an ass the person you don't like is... just keep your opinion to yourself. I promise it will get back to them, and you will look oh so jr. high. You can not like them all you want. And you can know that everyone around you doesn't like them too even if none of you ever say a word about it.
• Loud person in the library or study hall--Just don't. Have some respect. People might think you are funny at first. But they will all hate you in the end.
• Person who is only nice the day before they run for something--enough said
• wannabe gunner--this is the guy who comments every class but contributes virtually nothing, other than possibly derailing the whole conversation. Shut up. I dont' care what japanese philosopher Justice Scalia reminds you of. You wanna suck up to the prof, do it on your own time, not mine.

You'll notice that actual gunner is not on my list. At this point, he's my friend. If you ask intelligent, relevant questions or give thoughtful relevant comments, I am all about listening to you. After all, the more you talk, the less likely I'll actually get called on. Seriously though. I don't mind thoughtful participation even from the same person everyday. It's just the people who repeat what the prof just said or who ask about their condo rules that drive me batty.

Can you tell I've been feeling a little pent up frustration lately? really, I like 95% of my class. 2.5% I don't know and the other 2.5% I can't stand. But that's my little secret. I'm just tired and stressed. And I wish the stupid BS would stop. Fat chance, but still.

This all goes triple for one Ls going to small law schools or who go to school in a small law community. And it goes octuple (is that real?) for those of you who go to small schools in a small law community.

Now, true confessions... some of those categories are about people I can't stand, but some of those categories I only realized when I took a hard look in the mirror. Yowza. Self-evaluation is painful at times but totally necessary. Peace out.

BTW, rankings are leaked again. And I know they don't rule the world, but @^%&!$@ is all I have to say about it.